World Suicide Prevention Day | Wednesday 10 September 2025

Wednesday 10th September is World Su!c!de Prevention Day.

I don’t know what to really do for this day but I guess I’ll share my story a lil 😭

I’ve attempted 3x. The first and third I can no longer remember because my memory is so hazy and my mind has quite literally blacked it out so... I am not in a place where I want to f around and find out why or when because that will probably unlock memories I’d rather not remember. Attempt 2 is the one that’s always stuck with me and the one I can remember and I think it’s because of the things that happened around me at the time.

I attempted on 25.10.2013. It’s actually crazy if you ask me. After the attempt, I felt like I was high? I still have a hard time explaining that feeling but it felt like I was floating for weeks after the attempt. Kind of like feeling euphoric? It was weird. But a few weeks later I had a massive crash and that was that 😭 I was back to feeling mad depressed and wanting to slice and yeet myself.

I’ve also got a very long history with SH, it takes the edge off when I need. As of today I have been clean for 1 year, 2 months and 21 days which is probably the longest I’ve ever been clean. 🧼

I don’t know if there’s much help for someone who’s been depressed for 17 years (that’s almost 2/3 of my life) and who’s wanted to obliterate themselves off the face of earth for at least 13 of those years. I’m self aware but I don’t know how to bring the changes that will shift my mind you know?

I’ve tried anti depressants and anxiety meds but they made me worse and to such an extreme I feel like I’ve been kinda traumatised so refuse to try again. There’s been points when I wanted to check myself into a facility to get help because things were so rough and I didn’t know who or where to go to. I still feel pretty uncomfortable talking about it all so it’s easier to type things out.

After that attempt, I’ve genuinely just had a harder time with SH and destructive habits. I was literally 1 decision away from buying 💊💉

Several years ago I started using tattoos as a way of dealing with the symptoms of everything. Any time I was having a manic episode or severe depressive one, I’d get tattoos and use that as a coping mechanism. I haven’t done it for some years now. Unless you’ve lived through that, it’s really hard to understand why people sometimes do those things. I get some hate and shade from people for tattoos (I’m born Muslim and I understand the religious and cultural aspects) but I don’t think they understand how lucky they are that the people they love the most have never had to feel this way or find ways to cope.

Last year I got so low to the point of writing letters to loved ones before I had to force myself to snap out of it. It’s feels so weird sharing that lol.

I hope things get better because I’m tired. I’m also surprised I’m still here and almost 28 now lol. I don’t really have any advise but if you’re struggling, please find someone who you can talk to. Talking helps in such a big way.

Remember: a problem shared is a problem halved (at least, it takes some of the pressure off).

Anyways love yews 🤭🫶🏼

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